First of all, I’d like to say I’m sorry for being such a failure at everything… I didn’t post anything last week, I know. And frankly, I haven’t been able to post anything decent. To be fair though, my schedule has been a bit bat shit crazy and so are my hormones… and my brain, basically. I’ve been very weird these past few days (cranky, always hungry, absolutely no creativity and just plain bollocks), is because I failed to take care of my body these past few days. And here’s why…
1. Stress. It’s that one word that’s so easy to say but so hard to understand. We don’t always fully grasp what it means to be stressed. In fact, I say I’m stressed ALL THE TIME, but really I’m just LOST. I say I’m stressed because I have so many things going on and I have so much stuff on my plate that I actually forget what I’m supposed to do first and why I’m actually doing it. I just run around lifting things up without really moving things and that’s way worse because I keep thinking that I’ve been doing SO MANY THINGS but I don’t see results. That’s frustrating. I hate it. That’s what stresses me out. Here’s the thing about being an extrovert that not a lot of people understand: We need DOWN TIMES too. People think that just because you’re a very talkative person, you’d have to work loudly as well and that’s just not the case. As an extrovert, I usually find myself working BETTER in peace and quiet. I get more ideas in a busy environment, yes, but I think better in silence. Now since people think otherwise, I am bombarded with so much noise and I can’t concentrate. And then things get messy. When things get messy, I get lost. I literally CANNOT do anything in a messy environment. I hate clutter, I hate it when I can’t find the scissors where they’re supposed to be (top drawer, along with the pens and highlighters. So to be able to get things done, I need to slowly de-clutter and realign my life. From my schedule to my post its to my clothes… Yes, every damn thing I own had to be rearranged and color coordinated because… I. Just. Can’t.
I’m not crazy… I’m probably just a little bit obsessive compulsive.
2. So I decided to check on my blog today and found out that my statistics have gone BONKERS! I’m getting like 1 to 5 views per hour even if I didn’t update this blog and to a quiet, unsophisticated, weird blogger like me THAT’S HUGE. I see that the content people have been checking my blog out for was my short but sweet Maginhawa Street guide which has been very fun to do, actually. And as I’m seeing plenty of good results on posts related to travelling and food, I decided that my Baguio post (which I haven’t done yet) and my future roadtrip blogs shall be about food tourism and food… and food.
Food blogs and Jennifer Lawrence? You’re welcome.
3. Lately, I’ve been called “fat” too many times by people who knew me since I was a child. Relatives, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, people who have, in general, knew for a very long time. See, in a previous post I have said that I was super thin back in highschool and just a little bit on the curvy side in college. These days I think I’m on the Jennifer Lawrence level where I’d like to say I don’t care that I’m fat but I’d still do runs and stuff hoping my newly established tummy fat would just magically disappear. What a hypocrite, I hear you say. Yes, yes I am and that’s fine because really, who isn’t? The thing is, eating is not only fun, it’s necessary. I will NEVER starve myself to death. I will NEVER put up with a grumbling stomach, not now, not ever. So I’d rather pretend that I don’t care than pretend that I don’t like the taste of fried chicken or Salisbury steak or strawberry milkshake or Caramel Macchiatto with extra caramel drizzle. So yeah, I AM getting fat and yeah, maybe all the things I shove up inside my mouth are unhealthy for me but who the heck cares? I’ll NEVER look like my 16-year-old self and people, you just have to accept that the way you all accept how GOOD french fries are even if they’re made of material that could potentially stay inside your body for years.
3. In connection to that last thought, let me just say that the first quality you NEED to look for in a boyfriend is his ability to take you in no matter what shape you’re in. One of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard Patchie say is “No, you’re not” whenever I say “Oh god I’m sooo fat.” I know it’s not true. I know he’s just saying this to make me stop complaining about things I literally brought upon myself. Still, it’s comforting to have somebody who says things that you actually DESERVE to hear. Here’s a tip to finding true love, kids: Look/wait for somebody who will tell you “You look great” out of the blue– even if it’s absolutely out of character. He may tease you about the snot running down your nose when you cry but when you least expect it, he’ll tell you you look beautiful (both with his words, actions and his eyes) and you’ll feel better about yourself, no matter how big your belly fat is.
Then you get to say to yourself: “See, who da heck dey callin’ fat?!”
Frankly, ain’t nobody got time for that!
Anyway, thanks for reading! If you think the food blogs stuff are exciting, go sign up for my stalker list and I’ll update you about food and life and random stuff. All the details are below (*look down, human*). BYIIEE!